hiii how are you! it's october so i switched up the color palette a little bit ^v^
october's been rough. i'd been in the trenches for years and years by the 15th. politics are a wreck, i've been really stressed out. lula did win !! but my state's in the trenches and senate's in the trenches and it's just not gonna be easy to recover from this shitshow yknow? i wish i was more elated but i'm just vaguely relieved, like i've crossed something out of a to-do list. i just want this year to be over with. by the way if anything on this log sounds tonally dissonant it's because the election was only decided on the 30th, but i write during the whole month, so this is a rather non-linear piece of writing :0
my thesis on the other hand has been progressing very well, i'm really comfortable with navigating godot and working on 3d now, i've been learning more programming (python through exercism, but gdscript is similar) and it's all coming together a lot more. you know when you're painting and you're like "yeah man this looks good, i'll just add a little more detail" and then you emerge from rendering and realize what you had before was basically just a sketch? is this too specific of an example? i mean that everything i was considering just a finishing touch has been adding up to something that looks a lot more polished and finished and overall better.
an interesting read: a new taxonomy for the 21st century, about messages and posts and articles and pages. btw i'm @soll over on cohost, i keep forgetting to link it. i don't post much but it's a nice place!
new on site: the silent body horror of vampirism — an outline. not as in depth as i wanted, but i preferred to just let it out in the moonlight. it's october afterall. then i talked a little about web design and control (not the game). i also changed my navigation structure into an index, separate from my homepage, so it should be more straightforward now.
youtube got a hideous redesign this month, here's a very hacky userscript that makes all the corners pointy again, and gets rid of the HIDEOUS playlist gradient background. i tried to keep the avatars round but i also didn't want to spend too much on it so it only works on the first page (not on your subscriptions, not on comments, not on your own avatar). i also more or less changed the background back to a lighter gray (who the fuck thinks pitch black is a good dark mode idea?) but there are so many goddamn color variables that it doesn't fully revert the changes. their css was never meant to be human readable afterall (gross).
// ==UserScript==
// @name ROUND CORNERS FUCK OFF!!!
// @version 0.1
// @description I DONT CARE JUST YEET THESE!!!
// @match https://www.youtube.com/*
// @grant GM_addStyle
// @run-at document-start
// ==/UserScript==
GM_addStyle ( `
* {
border-radius: 0px !important;
--yt-spec-base-background: #272727 !important; /* change if you use light mode! #eee is nice */
--yt-spec-badge-chip-background: transparent !important; /* video description */
}
#avatar {
border-radius: 50px !important;
}
.ytd-playlist-header-renderer {
background: var(--yt-spec-base-background) !important;
}
` );
strictly speaking this could just be a userstyle, but i'd rather not have a whole other browser extension just for those, so tampermonkey it is. anyway, feel free to plop this into stylus or whatever. if you use light mode during the day and dark at night you'll probably need to mess with media queries to deal with the background, but i didn't wanna mess with that because i'm the one using the script and i haven't seen a light mode website in eons. did you know youtube has a pure white background? why do they want to kill us. death to #fff.
here's another batch of ceramics, i actually made these before all the others on last month's log, but they were fired afterwards. the little leafy shaped dish has always been my favorite!
i've still got more stuff to be fired, including my final project which is fun on paper (calling it ritual purposes in my mind, it's abstract yonic-phallic statuettes) but i'm just so burnt out and exhausted from everything general and this fucking prof in particular that i just want it to be over with. also there are only so many ways you can make dick and tits and pussy when you're not particularly good at sculpture.
there's no other art this month. i organize my art by month, and i always hate seeing empty folders (well, there's photos in there). but like. i have been sketching traditionally and stuff, i just didn't have the time and processing power to draw digitally. which is fine. i shouldn't be too hard on myself just because couldn't get around to finishing that one painting. there was so much on my plate this month -_-
interview with the vampire (2022): god it started off SO strong and then they fucking botched claudia my friend claudia my favorite character claudia. plus a few other issues, mostly a compressed timeline that wrecked the drama. i posted episode by episode reviews on tumblr, though of course the finale hasn't come out yet. i originally wanted to write a coherent analysis once it's finished, but. i don't think i care enough anymore. it's neither good or bad enough, although i enjoy talking about why i think it failed (spoiler it's the lack of coffin sex*). i should also probably re-read the book. hm.
don't hug me i'm scared (2022): yeah i love the yt vids (i feel i'm just the right age to have been mildly traumatized by being shown the first one. but they're objectively very good). i was really surprised by the tv series coming out! it's great, the extra time and budget are used very well!
spy x family (2022): with friends. it's really cute and fun!
bodies bodies bodies (2022): it's really well directed and the performances are great. it's a fun movie. it's not too lame with its smartphones. and yet. i think it's just a little too euphoria? too 2020s? it's ironic about bullshit tiktok stuff like overuse of the word gaslighting or whatever and it often lands the jokes but still feels off idk. just not my kind of movie i guess. made me wish i was watching scream
slumber party massacre ii (1987): double featured it with the aforementioned (bodies i watched with friends, massacre by myself because it was early and it's so short). it takes a while to actually get to the massacre (like 40 minutes into a 70-minute movie) but when it does it's so much fun. the killer's great, his weapon is a fucking guitar with a massive drill for the head, like. transcendatally phallic. it's the kind of movie that you're either sold on from the title or you're not and boy was i
glorious (2022): well it's a stupid movie. the premise of "lovecraftian glory hole" is a big pair of shoes to fill, and it sadly doesn't — it's not cosmic horror-y or phallic enough. it's still fun enough at just 80 minutes runtime so whatever. i just wish it was a little more over the top ^v^
the vampire lovers (1970): there's an uncanniness to the clear regency setting paired with the extremely 1970 hair and makeup. it's a little charming though — except for the occasional zipper. anyway, it's a decent movie. i think carmilla is a hard source material because it's kinda... not good. thank god for lesbianism making the adaptations more fun
the velvet vampire (1971): oooh i loved it! it's not perfect, and there's some anti-indigenous tropes in there for some reason, but it has a lot going for it. diane is gorgeous and her character is really compelling (well, within the constraints of the movie), and the use of red is beautiful. recommended, but i could fix it (make it queerer)
videodrome (1983): it's sooo funny to me that this is a breached-containment horror movie. like the fact that it's a cult classic for people who are not horror fans but are movie buffs. because yeah it's a rock solid movie, but it also takes a little of the non-serious approach you have when you're a fan, you know? in the end it's not prestige drama, is what i mean. whatever, fantastic. the body horror is great, it's so stylish with its CRT use, it's a fun story, mwah!
vampyros lesbos (1971): watched it in german with spanish captions, which i'm fairly sure is a dub, but i dunno if that's original or not (like how nosferatu the vampire has both english and german versions, although scenes were actually re-shot for the english version — but i don't think all of them were? idk i watched it in german. anyway tangent over). whatever. the story is not very good, but it's artsy and sexy, it has some gorgeous use of red, two strip sequences, and like. it's what it says in the tin, what the fuck do you expect from a 1971 european movie called vampyros lesbos? it's cool
morgane et ses nymphes (1971): it's more fairytale than horror tbh. fairly good! it's also on archive dot org
x (2022): it's alright? there's some fun cinematography, with some really interesting cuts and superpositions at times, but i wish it was less gritty. girl i can't see. they could have leaned more into the 1979 setting too, and just have a little more fun overall. ultimately a forgettable movie but i might watch pearl anyway
daughters of darkness (1971): beautifully shot, with gorgeous gorgeous use of bright vivid red and a stunning vampire. and this is the first time i see a vampire that hates running water! i say vampire vampire but the movie is rather discreet and coy with its vampirism, which i quite liked. it's also on archive dot org; this month's been quite consistent lmao
i've also started mob psycho season 3 and chainsaw man, but yknow, they're not finished yet and i've read the manga for both and love them. seeing pochita animated in particular is just so 🥺
anyway, i've still got a lot more lesbian vampire movies on my watchlist (nine i think), so a full recap will probably be on december, which is a nice way to wrap up the year. i'm not actually trying to suck the genre dry, i just picked whatever sounded interesting from the wikipedia article. my general watchlist is so long too, and these movies can be annoying to track down, so i might not go through them all this year. in any case, if you have any recommendations i'm currently looking exclusively for the most elusive vampires of all: black and / or butch and / or trans. tall order, but i've got enough white femmes already. horror books would also be nice. and honestly if you've got a horror movie that meets those specs it doesn't even have to be a vampire. i'm starved.
pokemon emerald rogue (2022): it's great fun, since it takes away all the stifling railroading and leaves just good old cock fighting. i always love trying out new pokemon too. lovely romhack really!
blood required (2022): hehe plugging my friend's jam minigame, it's really neat and fun :D
heartworm (2022): i've been following the dev for a while so i was stoked when the demo came out. this is so fucking delicious. it's heavily inspired on the survival horror classics, and while i'm too young to be nostalgic for them i am a psx revival lover, and this is shaping up into a solid game on its own right. the atmosphere is on point, with your light source creating dramatic shadows, and it has those beautiful fixed cameras that make you feel watched.
i think over-the-shoulder and first person pespectives sure have their place in horror games, but a fixed camera is by far the most cinematic one. dare i even call it second person perspective? i have seen genuine second person in games, like no one lives under the lighthouse, but what i mean is. you know in horror movies when the camera cuts to the killer's point of view? and they're not moving, just observing the characters? not all fixed cameras feel like this, but a good game will have some that do, and they always feel so beautifully creepy. because unlike in a movie, your character isn't oblivious to the fact. or rather, the character themself might be, but you are not, and the line between player and protagonist is blurred so that it doesn't make a difference.
anyway, stellar demo, super excited for this game. i've linked to itch over there, but you can wishlist it on steam too ^v^
nona the ninth (tamsyn muir): oh the locked tomb. i'm very happy to say nona has a more serious tone than the first two books! listen, i love humor, i love douglas adams and i adore terry pratchett, but if you've read the other books in this series you know muir loves to make meme references that suck and clash awfully with the otherwise amazing writing. anyway. that's where the positives end. i was being generous while reading it because i kept thinking it was gonna resolve itself, nona'd get sorted out and we would get to the body horror wizardry part. but after finishing it i can say: it was not originally planned to exist and it shows. it feels like it's just there to bridge harrow and alecto, like an extended prologue. i'm still curious for alecto but this was disappointing
DNF la disparition (georges perec trans. zéfere): you've probably heard about this book, it's a lipogrammatic novel that doesn't use the letter e (well, some translations change the letter). it feels very off kilter to read. the story is, on paper, really compelling, but i just could not get into the book at all — 20 pages/day average. it began to feel like a chore, even though i really wanted to know what happens! so yeah i put it on pause
the haunting of hill house (shirley jackson): i mean it's such a classic for a reason, instant favorite. it's impeccable
the metamorphosis (franz kafka): he's just like me fr.... (re-read. i love it)
annihilation (jeff vandermeer): omg annihilation hiiii !! my uh third re-read i think? one of my favorite books thank you jeff i love you :)
fire punch (tatsuki fujimoto): my friends have been telling me to read it for ages now and from the second togata was introduced i knew exactly why. it's quite good, but togata deserved a lot better than that cringe fail flop death; it kinda soured the second half of the manga for me
well, and that brings us to the end of october! i hope it treated you better than it did me lmao ^v^
happy halloween >:3c