index
march 2023
hi there, hope you're doing well! :)
new on the site: this month i fulfilled my promise: technobiogenesis, my bachelor thesis, is now online. featuring an introduction for more details and context ^_^
not much else to say, so now for some links. seems like this is what my logs have become. i'm alright with that. art is as much about getting stuff inside your noggin than putting stuff out of it. although i admit i've been putting out less than i'd like.
art
i bring you: knights.
my girls!! they're so hard to draw but i love them so fucking much orz. i should give agilulf a proper full plate tbh, i think the visible legs under the mail kinda defeats her purpose? what i really want is a chunky reference book for armor, i wanna look at pictures on paper and stuff. wouldn't hurt to see some armor in person too, but they're not just hanging around here in brazil so :/
some alternate versions of this radiolarian knight / battlemage are up on tumblr. can't really choose between them! i think my "normal" digital painting / brushwork skills are in need some extra attention but in the other hand it's nice to just paint something in an hour or so and mess with some post-proccessing instead.
media
games
- portal 2 (2011): once again hanging out with glados my friend glados! and more importantly my friends the turrets! also the coop is really fun, though my friend basically carried me through a lot of the puzzles lmao
- pentiment (2022): interesting concept, but i find this kind of game (let's say night in the woods-like?) a little annoying at times. the story is quite nice, but walking around really isn't, it might have been better as a straight up visual novel or something
- aeon of sands — the trail (demo) (2018): i wanted to like it, because it looks really cool, but i found the dungeon crawling itself unpleasant. it's a mix of the controls being disorienting — A and D are used to strafe, while Q and E turn — and the minimap being on screen at all times. i kept accidentally strafing when i meant to turn (i don't play a lot of dungeon crawlers but i'm still used to the typical up/down to walk and left/right to turn), and getting turned around, so i found myself navigating exclusively through the minimap. i think that when it comes to map systems in videogames they have to be slightly low fidelity, incomplete and/or inconvenient so you can properly pay attention to your surroundings, and i say this as someone who regularly gets lost in videogames
- hedgerow (2021): speaking of dungeon crawlers with a wasdqe control system! the lack of minimap and smaller scope actually make this one a breeze to navigate! the combat in this game is super fun, it has a nearly rhythm game quality to it. wish it wasn't stuck in the browser though, because it got a little laggy at times, but yeah fun lil jam game!
- the zachtronics solitaire collection (2022): i fucking love solitaire and the spread of games here is very neat. from the simple klondike variation that is sawayama to the difficult and rewarding fortune's foundation, this is a really solid and fresh collection. i wish i could have bought it on itch to get the native linux program, but lack of regional pricing is a bitch and i'd pay nearly twice as much as on steam. but it works fine booted straight from my windows drive despite the janky steam launcher
sawayama solitaire rules
i've been playing this one physically too, because it's really simple to set up and stuff, so i figured i'd include the rules in here ^_^
setup: just like standard klondike (7 columns, with 1-7 cards each), except all cards are face up. remaining cards form the stock
goal: form each suit's pile from A to K
ruleset: as with klondike, cards are stacked in alternating colors, high to low. any card can be put into an empty space. you flip three cards at a time from the stock, and don't cycle through it; instead, after revealing the entire stock, you get a free cell
- dreamwild (2022): i dunno why i keep trying to play fast paced fpses that advertise themselves quite clearly as such when i'm terrible terrible at them, but i do nevertheless. not my fault they look cool as fuck!
- tetrisweeper (2020): unhinged, and a combo of two of my favorite time killing games. i think it'd be really fun to play coop (one person tetrising and one minesweeping)
- growing my grandpa! (2022): lovely little game! which sounds a little unhinged to say about a horror game i suppose. but yeah, count on yames to make lovely and gorgeous and story heavy little horror games.
movies and series
had a couple of really slow weeks at work so i got to watch a lot of stuff in company time. hey, i'm giving my wrists a break, it's good for ergonomics!
- vampyres (1974): rewatch (while more or less working lmao)! mostly so i could add a proper review to the page. this is a nice movie! check over there for all the thoughts but yeah. it's pretty nice
- infinity pool (2023): oooh i quite liked it. the effects are all great and it's got some great stuff in it overall! however i wish they had the hallucinogenic sex and the dog scenes reversed, i think hallucinogenic sex would make for a better climax (a la society). um. wish the hallucinogenic sex was a little More as well. ← guy who only watches old erotic horror. oh also there's a really fucking weird antisemitic caricature in the background at one point. i guess it's meant in a "look at these rich people viewing other cultures as their playground" way since that's kinda the theme of the movie, but it's really fucking vile and jarring in comparison with other instances of the sort. they really didn't have to do that
- succession (2018): managed to watch the whole thing more or less in time for season 4. really like the series, love seeing people put on situations. pretty funny too :3
- blank narcissus (2022): short film, in the form of commentary on a lost 70s porno. it's cool. it's from the director of flux gourmet, which has been on my watchlist for a while now, and made me want to speed up the process of watching it
- l'amante del vampiro (1960): ok half brain watch (working). not a lez-v watch, i just stumbled upon it in the internet archive because it was uploaded by the same person that did some of those movies. at times i feel like i can see some elements of what would become giallo (god i miss watching giallo. me and my hard-to-find-online old movies), and also that it maybe wanted to have some themes about masculinity (um. doubtful but also there's a reading there probably. maybe if i watched with the whole brain), and it's overall a fun romp, if rather tame.
- the fingersmith (2005): i didn't know the handmaiden (which i haven't watched btw) was a book adaptation, and this one is a bbc mini series of said book. it's really quite good! i haven't watched many bbc adaptations / period dramas but from what i've heard they're always Solid and yeah man this one's Solid
- the rocky horror picture show (1975): tim curry is so hypnotic it's unreal. banger movie of course
- DNF skinamarink (2022): i'm sorry to the entire online horror community i guess but i found this unwatchably boring. stopped at around 15 minutes. may be my fault for watching so much schlock but nothing fucking happens! "scariest movie of all time" yeah ok sure man but it's giving my friend's fear of paranormal activity's moving furniture
- the lair of the white worm (1988): that's camp baybee!! i fucking love how overt the white worm imagery is, as much as i love subtle symbolism i think the obvious in-your-face stuff also fucks teehee
- scream (1996): i've been craving a rewatch for a while now, i really like this movie. um, marking spoilers for this 27 year old movie i guess because i loved it in my first watch, but i think with ghostface being such a pop culture symbol we tend to forget that the third act once there's the billy / stu reveal is where it really shines. i love those two
- el laberinto del fauno (2006): this one did a number on people in middle school lmao. why is it even called pan's labyrinth in english? never understood that. anyway, del toro never misses. also i think i could grow to enjoy this 00s questionable cgi style. perhaps. but i was definitely expecting practical effects. i did grow up watching the other labyrinth and dark fantasy will forever look like jim henson's puppetry (and sound like synths) to me. thank god.
- otherside picnic (2021): finished it, and it really is a lot of fun. i'm craving more ^_^
- to your eternity (2021-): oh the pebble anime. i forgot about season 2 and when i realized (rather, when my friend reminded me)... it was over with 20 episodes lmao. i like it, it's pretty good. it seemed to be going in a weird gender thing going on around episode 8, and i think dropping it was a waste (what's the point of shapeshifting if you're not going there). between excited and a little scared about season 3, like the fuck you mean it'll be modern day, but i'm not super invested in it overall so it's fine i suppose
- phenomena (1985): the soundtrack fucks very hard, but that's about it. the performances are rather stiff, possibly because it's an english language italian film. tubi had some pretty unexplicable cuts to the italian dub as well? things can get kinda janky with these movies but i really doubt this was on purpose. also the story (well, mostly the ending with its double whammy of shitty tropes) is pretty wack, especially when compared to giallos i've watched in the past. overall this is an alright bad movie for sickos with a couple hours to kill. also make sure not to watch it with your squeamish friends, it gets very gross.
- but i'm a cheerleader (1999): god the art direction in this movie is so tight. it's really cute too :)
- benedetta (2021): it doesn't feel 17th century enough imo and i found that off-putting. you're telling me the nuns don't wear chemises under their habits (which have no closures at all)? that they shave their legs? shoulder length hair never braided or anything? i don't necessarily believe some faces look like they know what an iphone is but the main actress styling doesn't help her case. the story itself is kinda whatever? idk man i had to stop watching midway through (poor time management) and just didn't feel too compelled to come back (i did finish it a couple days later with a beer though). i think it should have been more intense, dramatic, larger than life! the way it is, it's not sexy nor dramatic so like. what does it even bring to the table here.
- phantom of the paradise (1974): rewatch to show to my friends. it was great to see winslow leach my friend winslow leach again :)
- the whale (2022): thankfully not as crybait as i feared. but my friend did weep the entirety of the last ten minutes. as for myself i guess it's ok? really not for me, it's just not particularly interesting a story. also the color grading felt abysmal, i get what they were going for (it's bleak because he's depressed duh) but please i am begging for a single shred of color to look at. make it black and white at this point, it feels better and you'll be forced to have better contrast.
- paranormal activity (2007): i was a coward in middle school (perhaps more importantly, my mom is a scaredy cat and vocal about it) so i missed out on all the 2000s and 2010s lame classics. the movie is pretty uneventful, but at least the characters are there to ground us from the beginning (and they're pretty great together), plus you can see things. ← this of course is me comparing it to skinamarink. it's a fairly fun romp but i don't really like this kind of "blink and you miss it" stuff, nor do i find furniture moving on its own particularly scary or interesting. sure, it'd be scary as hell irl but on a movie it's quite unimpressive. it's not like they're going house of leaves or anatomy with it yknow
- shivers (1975): i think it falls victim to the same issue that some zombie movies have, where the speed at which the infected show symptoms really ramps up for seemingly no reason. it's still a pretty cool premise executed well, though! i wish there was actual consensual sex but you can't have everything and it works alright the way it currently is. also i love nurse forsythe's little monologue near the end
- existenz (1999): had a little cronenberg double feature monday hehe. fun little flick, i love the prop design here, they're all top tier. the movie itself feels like. ok i'll alienate some people here but it feels like a slightly more violent filme de sessão da tarde. something about it was just screaming stardust and seventh son and i am number four. this kind of fantasy movie yknow? something about the look of it all. so yeah the story is kinda whatever, which is a shame when the biocomputer premise and props are so delicious
- harakiri (1962): this movie is really fucking good. the pacing is so deliberate and methodical, nothing is done without purpose. the cinematography is also beautiful, with scenes staged very carefully. really right, really theatrical, give it a watch if you're remotely interested in samurai movies
- vampire boys (2011): imagine if twilight was the setup of a gay porno. it's pretty boring and lame actually, and it's not even schlock? where's the horror where's the fucked up shit etc. i think it being from 2011 (and me not being into men lmao) really doesn't do it any aesthetic favors either. no tension, no swag, and i don't think even fun enough to watch with friends probably. for the witty one-liner: all bad parts of a porno and none of the good ones. wound up posting a longer review on cohost (post as if you're unemployed even though you are not)
- they/them (2022): it's so bad man. i had heard it was bad but i didn't know why and it was friend movie night and my watchlist is not necessarily universally well received so when it was suggested i agreed. like how bad can it be. well, it's got that several-movies-in-a-trenchcoat issue, and none of those are a goddamn slasher movie. yes you waste the fun title pun "they slash them" and don't bother slashing? felt like the (cis) director was terrified of actually killing gay people on his gay horror movie. one of the movies in the trenchcoat seemed to be but i'm a cheerleader (because of the setting), but without the sharp aesthetic sense and satire it could never work. the message seems to be "no matter how despicable a person is, violence is bad and you should be a good queer instead". the scariest part was the sudden perfect by pink jumpscare. and i mean it both as "this was the worse thing i've seen on a screen" and "this movie isn't scary or tense at all and i can see some spots meant as fake-out jumpscares but none of them land". they didn't bother paying for any of the extras to speak so there's like six people who are absolutely silent for the whole movie and none of them even die. it's bad folks. my friends and i had fun because we were chilling in the sofa and love each other though :)
- the addams family (1991): and then a little palate cleanser :). i think i prefer values but i love these movies i love my t4t friends morticia and gomez. i get unwell looking at her tbh
books and manga
- the castle (franz kafka): yeah now i've finished it. well, as far as possible since the book itself is unfinished. i quite liked it despite how long it took me, put that guy in a situation. i love how distant the protagonist, k., is. the posface of my edition says the narrator doesn't know shit because the book is from k.'s point of view and he doesn't know shit, but i don't think that's entirely accurate. everything we know about him comes from what he says to other characters, it's even "worse" than an average first-person unreliable narrator, i think it fucks. in fact, every character is unreliable in their motivations. we only get their word for what they think, and i could never really trust them. which was all very interesting! it's an abstract and shifting and slippery book though, so i get why my book club friends didn't like it
- dictionary of the khazars (milorad pavić): also finished it. pretty neat to have the book equivalent of reading wikipedia before bed
- passenger to frankfurt (agatha christie): light reading to ease myself back into my usual pace. not very good though? i like the murder mysteries kinda exclusively, this one was confusing and pointless
i'm currently re-reading dracula :)
see you soon ^_^
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