index
october 2024
oh hey this month fucking flew by. holy shit.
masters update: project wasn't get approved at the first stage. i don't wanna sound like the sour grape fox, but i can't say i didn't feel a sick sense of relief at realizing i wouldn't need to put in any more effort. because i have a planktonian nature: i truly genuinely lack any sense of ambition, and this has been the case as long as i can remember ambition being relevant. most (all?) people around me have things like concrete dreams and aspirations, but i have always found it impossible to picture my future at all. whether or not that's a symptom of depression running unchecked in the background since i was 14 is anyone's guess (and that's something i say without my usual flippant irony). my main dream is for the current socioeconomical system to be upended so i can have a government appointed job on a 4x4 timetable or something.
uhhh wait that's a depressing note for the personal blogging segment. my bad i also had fun this month! and i am excited for things in the future! i'm very hyped for this year's new years trip for one. i have a calling and it's chilling out and having fun ^_^
new on the site:
i have also published bertha's french translation! just in time for halloween. many thanks to constance germann for hitting me up about it earlier this year.
- barbuta: a guided tour. the ufo 50 (2024) collection is super interesting conceptually, but looking into the games... it's really not for me (i've read "there's something for everyone!" but i truly don't think that's true). i'll wait for a nice long exploration of the meta-game (seems like a less-compelling basilisk but now i'm being needlessly mean). sylvie's video is really nice though!
- the own work woodshed
- hackenbush: a window to a new world of math. this is so sexy. like half the people in my life assumed i'd go into stem, which is crazy but sometimes i kinda understand them.
- what the hell is slendrina?. painticus is straight up one of my fav horror game youtubers. love his streams (well, vods) too. these are pretty fascinating games.
art
just miku :) this game's neat.
oh and since i don't have much this month i'm posting this graph i made and posted on tumblr. this was specifically to compare riverdale and welcome back alice as power fantasies of teenagehood but i had to expand it. i don't think i need to elaborate but i will if prompted. question marks are things i haven't read / watched but felt would fill those spots well.
media
games
- passenger9027 (2024)
- hatsune miku: project mirai dx (2015): i've got rhythm game fever babey. i think some songs go on forever (for a rhythm game), and the selection isn't totally my style, but pretty nice nevertheless. it skews easy, which is cool on a portable. i do want to try out a mainline project diva game some time, maybe once i finally jailbeak my ps3 (i'll take a look at psvita emulation too)
- mouthwashing (2024): mouthyyyy. really fucking good nonlinear psychological horror. AND single location. incredible visuals. brutal story. i think anya really could have had more put into her character however. yes, it's an unreliable narrator etc but it's frustrating how much of psych horror is from a male perspective to begin with yknow. idk... it's still a great fucking game, and definitely 2024's best horror movie too.
- uoy (2023)
- kill knight (2024): my laptop is a bit underjuiced for this game but it's so funnn. can't wait to git gud.
- blade sight (wip) (2022-): didn't go very far because it's very awkward on keyboard. keep an eye on this if you like fighting games at all.
- fish fear me (demo) (2024): tank / kart-like controls on a horde survival adjacent game is unhinged. this slaps.
- kletka (demo) (2024): a better (and scarier) lethal company. to me. it's pretty fun coop, with very very poor balancing when it comes to dying and reviving. the full review wound up just a little too long for this here format, but in short: if coop horror sounds fun then try the demo with your friends, that's what demos are for. release date is scary close but who knows they might make death a bit less punishing for the final release; i wouldn't really buy it with the way it currently works.
- automaton heart (demo) (2024): sequel to the 3ds' last game, automaton lung, which i'm sad to admit i haven't played much of. it's an rpg and the visuals appeal to the blame! enjoyer brain, plus i really am fascinated with lung's whole deal. it has all that signature cryptic jank. i really need to dig more into it. this demo's likely to remain up, so i'll have time to really poke at it.
- mohrta (demo) (2024): for an exploration heavy fps it sure does start you with a long and linear combat encounter... the game's pretty hard, i got walled by the first boss because it's very fast — in fact, once you get into the first level it's pretty clear that while exploration is somewhat slow, combat is anything but. however! it's made on gzdoom! that's pretty cool on its own, but it also means console commands are all there ^_^, and there's a lot of options including full tilt / bob customization (why there's tilting in the first place is beyond me. the nausea...). it might be stretching the engine a bit, since my performance is kinda subpar at times. the art direction is awesome, but there's the characteristic feeling that the game was made by some cishet guys. haven't finished the demo yet, but overall a game to keep an eye on for sure!
- hyperbeat (demo) (2024): rhythm game! it looks really cool, the songs and visuals are rad, and there's workshop support — yippee for the possibility of bad apple!!. runs decently on the thinkpad, though wouldn't be my first choice of hardware. the learning curve of this control scheme (and the depth perception) is pretty tough to me... still a really neat game, i'll most likely get it on launch. btw the demo doesn't save your scores, so screenshot them or sth if you wanna keep track.
- rhapsody of moon rabbit (demo) (2024): it doesn't look all that remarkable but i'll always check out hybrid hells. it performed quite poorly (i wasn't even on the thinky) and wasn't very good... i didn't enjoy the controls and the two character gimmick is odd, because i don't see much reason to ever use the meelee character, she's more of a fallback for when you die. not good 👎
- sorry we're closed (demo) (2024): i've had this on my radar for ages. it's got a really unique look, and the third eye mechanics make for very interesting combat. it's scawy... i don't do well with fixed camera angles (turning corners is terrifying). and also sexy. very excited for the full release, which is next month :0
- anatomy (2016): god i was not prepared for how disorienting it is. what a game.
- childhood homes (and why we hate them) (2023): ouhghh it's crazy that it took me over a year (!?) to read this. holy shit. crazy good.
- rodland of pipes (demo) (2024): ehh played just the first stage then figured it was not really my thing — i watched alphabetagamer's playthrough and it confirmed my suspicious of it being pretty fiddly and jumpscare oriented. it's also mouse only, including movement, pretty rough on the wrists. i do like the art direction though.
- vib-ribbon (1999): aww this game's cute! memorizing the controls (especifically the combos) is a biiiit of a challenge and the timing is a little tough to grasp but man this is a nice and charming concept. i don't have enough cds to really play around, and you can't use digital files on ps3 like you can on emulator, but it was nice to finally take a look at it.
- semblance and shadows (2023)
- escape room service: grand sylvan hotel (2024): neat little thing, i wish it had a little more to it!
- a secret bitsy game (2017)
- pico park (2016): this game's so funnn omg. i love how bite sized it is. i fucking loved the tetris levels, i think coop tetris would be a really fun game with someone you're drift compatible enough with (i think i said the same thing about tetrisweeper)
- webfishing (2024): oh you know it babey. i am fishing. on the web. well, mostly alone while i watch rivvy or yewchube, or with friends on our regular discord calls. great times, i love games with dedicated noise buttons ^_^
i am also playing the new pokemon phone game... feel free to add me on pokemon tcg pocket, where you can't trade yet and the card game is pretty lame. at least the design is a good implementation of neuomorphism? i'm urubudebota 5250722040408864 and my tagline says i collect dark types but the current selection suuuuucks. zubat ekans grimer and koffing? am i a joke to you. i like them but come the fuck on.
movies and series
- the substance (2024): hmm this movie could have slayed like society (1989) but it's rather muddy. i don't mind it being shallow and blunt, but i do mind that it falls into hagsploitation territory despite its own fucking theme, and i think it ogles sue too much — though i've seen people claiming these very things were done subversively so i suppose your mileage might vary. idk it just doesn't know what it's doing in the middle. but it's a kind of schlock i don't think we get much of these days, so it's still neat. lovely gorefest ending. also hi margaret qualley from novitiate. i think i kinda adopted her lmao
- joker: folie à deux (2024): see, i did not care much for joker (2019). i watched it long past the hype, which might be part of why i think it's fine but boring. i don't find this version of the character particularly interesting is all. i think phoenix's arthur is at his best when he's entirely put on the joker performance — i like it when he's in drag. yes, i am no better than the audience this movie (the end of jokerelion) criticizes — or that's why i thought before finding out these movies are by the the hangover guy, and now i don't care that much about his metacommentary; in some ways it's kinda biting the hand that feeds to criticize the audience for liking your movie when that's the only one of yours that isn't slop (but what do i know; i have not watched any of his other stuff). well i just like maximalism. and there's very little of it in this movie. and i can't say i don't get it, i just don't have to like it, and i think it could be possible and interesting to have more of his created performance. it annoys me how much these movies want to distance themselves from the comics even as they nod to them (hey harvey dent is in this one). also the musical aspects felt way too restrained. i'd have loved for it not to be a jukebox (because the idea of original joker songs tickles me a bit, i like musicals!), but overall i just wanted more singing (beat me take my blood whatever). nevertheless, i think it's a mostly fair movie and i liked it well enough. its existence is strange. quite literally a killing joke.
- the batman (2022): i got a weird itch to rewatch joker 2 the day after my first go, to dissect it, but it's a long ass movie and i decided to compromise by watching another new dc flick i hadn't before. and damn this is a tiresome movie. alt right domestic terrorist riddler is so whatever. paul dano's eating ofc but i feel the thing about batman's rogues gallery is that they tend towards wacky in contrast with the bat's self seriousness... idk we just need a ten year ban on superhero movies so we can come back with fresh takes. also some nationality remarks: alfred being british is always so funny. it's like they imported a british butler as one would a swiss watch, he's some sort of appliance. and the presence of a butler in the first place always makes me wish for a historical batman adaptation where this makes more sense. and i wish barry keoghan joker was real because it's supremely funny for him to be irish too.
- grotesquerie (2024-?): dropped after two episodes. it's bland and boringggg, it shouldn't have such a cool and eyecatching poster on stremio if wasn't gonna deliver anything.
- winnie-the-pooh: blood and honey 2 (2024): ah our beautiful new halloween tradition of watching the public domain character horror movies. as most other cinema sickos i believe in the trash-mid-good horseshoe theory. the first pooh was a mid-range trash movie, as expected from something made to be watched with a rowdy and intoxicated crowd, but this one attempts to become a real movie with things like "budget" and "characters" and "story", making it better and thus bringing it closer to the dreadful mid valley. this is not a universally held opinion within my friend group, but you don't read their movie reviews now do you. in any case, a worthwhile drunk halloween watch, even if it has less gore (somewhat controversial, more deaths, less spectacle for each one) and tits (universally agreed) than its predecessor, rendering it less schlocky, which seems to be why it was a bigger hit among the casual horror watchers in the audience. ALSO this is 100% a brit movie but everyone sounded like they were doing a bad accent. the new christopher robin is going for a bootleg barry keoghan vibe that honestly works reasonably well but is very on the nose (← this is a joke for those who have watched the movie and know his nose is huge).
- slumber party massacre iii (1990): this trilogy really did peak at ii. i do appreciate its message of not trusting blond men (not a spoiler given there's a bajillion of them) but the killer's motivation is stupid. i was gonna say the movie could have ended a solid 20 minutes earlier but then i went to check and the awful final confrontation actually takes like. 7-10 minutes, it's just too drawn out. oh well. it's overall a "we have black christmas at home" movie.
- smile 2 (2024): watched without any knowledge of the first one. what a strange comercial for voss water... it's boring and the jumpscares are frequent to the point of becoming a nuisance (particularly upsetting with the loud ass cinema speakers. chill). monster at the end is extremely fucking goofy. and it does the stupid stupid thing of 'ooooh this was all in her head oooooo' stop wasting my time.
ok i think i'm slowly working the way back to my baseline of bad movie watching. i have also finished rivedale season 4, which you can really tell was made in 2020 during the height of everything going to shit, because it has strange pacing and uses a fair amount of archive footage, while also rehashing the world's most tired plot point (i don't CARE about the betty-archie-veronica. i am 23 i didn't care about it the first time it happened and will not care about it for the tenth!). anyway. i like jug's death plot.
books and manga
- one corpse too many (ellis peters): eh it's whatever. i'd like more murder mysterying in my murder mystery. i went and added just two or three more brother cadfael books to the to-read list, just the ones that seemed closer to my murder mystery tastes. it seems there's no locked room though... (buries hands in my pockets and kicks a rock dejectedly)
- oniisama e... (riyoko ikeda): 70s shoujo is crazy these girls suffered more than jesus.
- blood: the last vampire 2000 (benkyou tamaoki): missing crucial context because it's a sequel to a movie i haven't watched. still. could have been good but it's rushed and underbaked. just one of those things you get when keyword searching mangadex for vampire + yuri.
- tales of nevèrÿon (samuel r. delany): this is such an interesting read. the structure is fairly odd (positive) and the style and stories are very good as well. can't wait to read more delany.
- boys run the riot (keito gaku): i can see why this manga gets a lot of praise, but i found it a bit boring. it's just not really my style.
- bokura no hentai (fumiko fumi): please don't judge this one by its title... it's alright. there's some good parts, but i don't think it fully gels into much more than that.
- my journey to her (yuuna hirasawa): interesting!
- renai idenshi xx (eiki eiki, zaou taishi): i have a lot of one liners about this one. the elusive lesbian yaoi!!! no man no girls this is... the world of lesbians. save me lesbian bishonen... yeah i liked it. needless to say this isn't a manga interested in worldbuilding. it might as well be set in a kinda odd all girls high school or something. but i couldn't care less in this case — it's a 17 chapter romcom with a happy ending. pretty content with that (not that i wouldn't like to see this premise given a full insane scifi treatment ofc).
- *insert all the stuff on the yuri vampire manga page here*
- cirque arachne (nika saida)
- ashizuri suizokukan (panpanya): SOUND OF THE SUMMER. what a lovely one-shot anthology. the art is beautiful and charming, and so are the stories, with their surreal flavor. it's like microdosing shimeji simulation. read it nowww.
- absolution (jeff vandermeer): IT'S HERE!! damn this really is three books in one, crazy crazy stuff. i love how it's a prequel that leaves more questions than answers, what a way to have a surprise fourth book on a trilogy... ough...
see you soon! happy halloween!
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