august 2025

uh hey. not much to talk about this month tbh. i'm still working on the machine vn zine, but software has been pissing me off. made more music for my friend's upcoming game too, which has been freed from working title hell and will probably be featured on september's artlog. i'm also juggling some other vidya game ideas after an extremely fruitful late night conversation about speculative eroge. and, of course, there's the upcoming erohorror vn jam which i really can't help joining. i wanna make a low stakes 70s sexploitation homage.

new on the site: i've finally updated the rss update script so it's properly automated now. does anyone even use it other than me? no idea, but i like it better now! in fact, it's fucking perfect for my use now yayy. the utc offset automation is unsolved because i don't give a shit honestly. it'd be tasty, don't get me wrong, but how often do we change timezones. it's fine.

towards more speculative sex.
reverse engineering a definition of yuri. yuri chess remains one of the most interesting chess variants to me for its recontextualization of chess through the fundamental change in objective.
estamos presos em 2020.
python upload server. i love wireless file transfers!! i have like four different methods i use any time i need to get a file across my devices but python's http-server is the only one that works with the ancient first gen ipad mini i ocasionally use for pdfs. but it only downloads out of the box, which means when it comes to (roman roy voice) well can we get files out, the answer has up until now been either usb cable or catbox.moe (not even bluetooth works! ios doesn't do bluetooth image transfers!). this does exactly what i need. i can also see it being useful to get one-off stuff from people without them having to download anything extra OR use a cloud service. just real elegant stuff.
you no longer need javascript. post so good it bit my neckkkk. i love pure css but i had no clue it could be this tasty. though the more fancy new features you use, the least compatible your website is with older browsers, and that feels a little sad to me...
repeat the ending: where do personal games go?

media

games

masochistic maiden aria and the cavern of blissful agony (2021): played after reading a couple of aria's dialogues (namely 5 and 4), and it's so interesting!! it's a very very forgiving precision platformer, even though you still need the precision... idk it's like a single screen, just play it and you'll see.
awaria (2024): didn't feel like finishing but it's a fun little game and the mini cutscenes are cute.
sylvie rpg: 7 elf apocalypse (2024): yay! really fun little game. the bosses are pretty fiendish! i think i've said it before but i like games i can fit in my head. i drew a basic map as i went but for the most part i just learned the map very naturally, while still getting the feeling of an expansive rpg. the game's cute and i enjoyed it lots ^_^
fallstruktur (2025): ok this is rad. movement has insane momentum, it feels like driving more than anything else i've ever seen in a platformer (i cannot think of a game that had me using S this often just to control my speed).
visual dos 2024 professional standard (2023): look i like cryptograms but this is a very boring implementation. i'm interested in the story but not in waiting idk 20 seconds between each puzzle. sorry.
pulse codex ep (demo) (2023): this is fucking incredible. microtonal percussion heavy music. esoteric visuals. rythm-game adjacent gameplay but also entirely distinct. getting this full game eventually for sure (it's also on steam for that regional pricing swag).
vile: exhumed (2025): viscerally upsetting. absolutely impeccable horror. the lack of closure and catharsis is perfect. just a note: it suffers from the unity curse so while the game runs on linux the videos don't, and they're vital to the story. first game i was forced to play on windows in a while -_-
netescape (demo) (2025): if i may be blunt. who cares. i've grown somewhat impatient with this specific kind of nostalgic horror. maybe i'm just tired of retro games that run like shit on my laptop (i'm sure you're tired of me saying this, but it's a core belief of mine that if your game looks like it could have been released before oblivion, it should not run worse than oblivion. if your twee indie game runs at elden ring framerates you've fucked up). mouse movement does not help either (ouch my wrist).
erostasis (2022): nods sagely.
wolves of the moon (2024)
drăculești (demo) (2025): fuckkkk i wish this was yuri about romancing dracula's brides instead... the women are just so cool... also there's just so many choices, it kinda stresses me out a bit lmao. i do like the art style though.
touhou kinjoukyou ~ fossilized wonders (2025): hell yeah babeyyy it's a brand new 2hu. very exciting that i got a first try bad ending and a super early 1cc... on easy. it's a tough game! some really pretty patterns though, i'm very partial to stuff that covers the whole screen ^_^ working on a normal clear now, though i might go back to pcb as it's easier...
off (2025): once again it is time to beat off!!!! man i love this game, genuinely one of the most influential indie games of the 2010s for good reason!! and it's a great remaster — as much as i did miss pepper steak, the new soundtrack is very very good and fits right in. i think the new stuff makes good use of the combat system, and while it's in some ways underwhelming not having a new ending for completing all that side stuff, i can't see what that could even look like and i'm really really glad the original game is basically untouched. in short: excellent excuse to replay off.
fundamentals of frontier erotica (2024)
elbe (2025): in love with this game!!! some of the most gorgeous pixel art i've ever seen, really fun soundtrack. it kinda feels like exploring an rpg world after the credits rolled: it's not built for you. has something of a divers vibe. starved to death after struggling to get rid of a lust curse. many such cases. i'd love to actually map the game out and see if i can find all the food and interact with some stuff like the baby crushing altar and the crafting table.
karaneko (demo) (2025): it's a cute art style and i think the combat system is neat (instead of being like undertale where you dodge and attack in distinct turns, you're attacking in real time in ways that also feel a little gimmicky like ut enemies), if kinda unpolished for now (there's no iframes, hits feel kinda weightless, and there's no real end to the fights). i think it's too obviously inspired by this specific type of rpg for me to really care enough though.

played tons of zeroranger cementing that 1) i much much prefer danmaku and 2) i still like stgs enough to have lots of fun with this. the game's good! the final boss is so fucking hard. 2-3 grapefruit is a big difficulty spike because the fight is so reactive, but despair is definitely A Final Boss. jesus christ. and in some ways yeag that's cool but i do wish her difficulty had less to do with rng. i don't like rng. or rather, i find determinism more compelling. comparing her to any touhou fight is night and day... anyway it's kinda shelved because of th20 but i'll clear it eventually.

i also finished umineko episode 3! looks like i'll get into the answer arcs this year still teehee :3

toxic yuri vn jam

i promised i'd continue but uh. i kinda forgor... it usually happens with jams: i needed to take a bit of a break from vns. again, here are all jam entries and here's the webring.

the vampire's pet: this one's pretty nice. i don't particularly care for dom/sub dynamics on their own though (i find them more compelling when i know more about the characters).

movies and series

teeth (2007): this movie's a damn mess. no object permanence whatsoever, and it goes without saying this isn't an incisive feminist film (at least it's fairly respectful? i appreciate that it doesn't leer at dawn). love the white dress she wears at the end.
the special (2020): mediocre penis movie double feature lol. long time readers might remember i found glorious (2022) a disappointing movie, so i've been meaning to watch this other horror movie about sticking dicks in lovecraftian holes. i think they're both pretty equivalent in quality, in that they're really not very good at all. this was rather competently made but a slog to go through. i'm not even sure how i'd fix it but surely something could be done to make it fun and schlocky (following possession's footsteps is surely wayyy out anyone in this movie's wheelhouse so i'm not even gonna suggest it). also. is this a porn addiction movie.
the stuff (1985): MEN WILL SEE A MOUSE AND EAT IT. this movie does not waste any second: the guy finds the stuff on the ground and eats it in literally 30 seconds flat. this is what i like to see. but i do think the breakneck pace leaves it kinda lacking in connecting tissue, and it particularly fucks nicole over and the satire is overall just pretty messy (hey man why are you going to the conspiracy theorist right wing fringe personality to warn about the dangers of the stuff). and it's weird, because by the hour mark it feels like the movie's done. and you know what has a similar premise with better execution and an hour runtime? doctor who's episode with the adipose.
deep red (1975): god i love gianna and her shitty car so muchhh. this movie's really masterfully shot with great music (the halloween theme is basically a cover of this movie's btw, carpenter's a goblin fan), and while i wasn't expecting the humor it works in the greater context of the movie imo. extremely solid.
pearl (2022): oh huh this is a Covid Movie. also stag film mention right as i was reading the chapter of hard core about them. i think i like it less than x. it's ok and pearl's character could have been everything but i think it needed another draft. and i don't think it really works with x's focus sexuality? it flirts with that in the beginning with the scarecrow scene and the stag film (which feels more like a reference than something actually purposeful), but that's pretty much dropped. and that's ok if you view the movie as a standalone (which it basically is)! but it doesn't help with the feeling that the movie is rather lost about what it wants to do.
la fiancée de dracula (2002): fun fact this is the only mainline jean rollin movie without a wikipedia page. and it suuuucks. i was lured into it by the presence of a convent and an ogress and a vampire and a wolf-woman but the movie is just so nothing. we have a little lesbianism as a treat but nowhere near 70s sexploitation, and the horror / gore / violence is also not there. none of the characters really amount to anything, nor does the story. i think this would be excellent in the hands of bertrand mandico of conann fame, but what really exists amounts to fucking nothing. also why does it end with dracula walking on the beach with his now-wife at dawn like a sappy fucking romance. why were they so worried about dracula's reign anyway, the guy seems chill as fuck.

books and manga

laserwriter ii (tamara shopsin): didn't expect to be so utterly charmed by this book! i loved the rather dry narration. it feels somewhat like overhearing conversations... also fuckkkkk i want to walk into a repair shop and be hired out of passion and learn everything on the jobbbbb.
cat among the pigeons (agatha christie): fuckkk it's one of the orientalist ones...
dowry of blood (s. t. gibson): i'm sorry to say but this was terribly boring. the prose is aiming for dark and lush but it becomes monotonous and overdramatic. the third bride being a man might be a #diversitywin but i feel like it weakened the themes. also it pissed me off SO BAD that apparently dracula keeps the letters he sent to his previous lovers. like i try not to be pedantic when there are bigger issues at play but be fucking for real. i can't believe no one in the process of publishing the book noticed that.
the spear cuts through water (simon jimenez): the interweaving of narratives in this book!! yum it's hypnotic!!
porn after porn: contemporary alternative pornographies (ed. enrico biasin, giovanna maina and federico zecca): ehh idk. it's from 2014 which is kind of an awkward time period for this maybe? idk man.
hard core: power, pleasure, and the "frenzy of the visible" (linda williams): fucking finally read it and it's so good. it's really approachable and well written, and i find her dissection of visibility very tasty. the tension between the genre's expected visibility and what actually feels good is to me one of the big challenges of drawing porn, and the obsession with near scientific / clinical Clarity is what makes "gemidão-core" mainstream porn look so sterile and uninteresting. i think i could go on and on about this book lmao despite being necessarily dated in some aspects — mainstream film porn in the 21st century is back to the stag film (ye olde tumblr gifset is very much a return to the loop!), with the feature length narratives of the golden age feeling like an odd hiccup (to the point that when a movie like poor things comes out it's like. A Whole Thing Online), as williams herself states in the 1999 epilogue —, our cultural relationship to images of sex hasn't changed all that much since 1989. one of my favorite quotes was "however much hard core may claim to be a material and visible thing, it is still fundamentally a discourse, a way of speaking about sex" (p. 229): i think more than any other genre of film, we disappear the apparatus making the damn thing possible, like any given film sprouted fully formed.

see you soon :)

index